tales from the jail: creepy crawly edition

Tales from the Jail-creepy crawly edition

1. a client, (who last week admitted to drinking a 40oz before coming for her office visit and at that time was so upset about her sucky life, admitted to peeing herself, while in the office), stated she was now happy in life because the roaches were dying. Yes, roaches. She had an exterminator come and spray and the roaches are now falling. Except for the baby ones that must have been born in between the spraying and the dying taking place. She vacuums them up. I couldn’t make this stuff up.

2. a client states he has to clean out his apartment and get new everything because of bed bugs. He then proceeds to show me his back. All bit up. I asked how long that had been happening, he says he’s had these bite marks for several months.

3. In one week I met with clients with strep, lice, mrsa, bronchitis, AIDS, swollen gums from infected teeth, scabies, nasty post nasal drip that was audible when he would sniff it up his nose, eye gunkies, bad breath, and numerous sexually transmitted diseases (I know because they tell me these things). And, I’m not the doctor in the family.

Yes, my clientele likes to talk about, inform me of, and show me their illness, creepy-crawly dwellers, and battle wounds. I don’t know why, and since I have absolutely no poker face, I’m sure my disgust is evident. Yet, they keep. On. Doing. It.