overheard this week.

"MRSA patrol" as heard while at the jail, after being hit in the arm with an inmate's crusty bedroll. can I reply with a big ole gag?

"Why don't you get out of my life and shut up" as heard by Napolean to his crusty family.

"Hey big spender" as heard after we got our letters announcing our raise at work. holla!

"I like big snakes" as heard from B at a meeting where her child found a stuffed snake. think. about. it.

"woof, woof, bark, whine" as heard from the puppy who lives at my house who just doesn't mind me but absolutely listens to DH. all. the. time.

"i used c0caine" as heard from my client right after he was told he wasn't going to submit a drug test today. (an aside, I hate that some in our department call them 'urine screens,' ewww. gross). great, alleged criminal, too bad I hate you and now want to test you so the judge has a bad update. (kidding. i am not that cruel. or unusual.)

"i want papa johns" as heard from DH as he is ordering it online. "i am going to be so f-ing late" as heard by DH as he gets paged, again, and again, won't make it home before 8.

"what do you want for christmas" as heard from my mom who always asks this and then I always feel guilty because I just want her to put that money to use for herself and not get us anything. she doesn't understand or accept that though. btw, she wants socks, again, this year. nice. apparently, her washer eats them like they are going out of style. and socks for some, are not their style. hahaha.

"trick or treat" as heard from the kids in the neighborhood walking up to our house as we're leaving out the front door, porch light just turned on, to go out with friends. "oh, sorry, we don't have candy," as heard when I respond, kinda embarassed, kinda humored "we're just heading out for the night." (btw, DH quickly turned off the porch light and we returned to a darkened house on halloween night.....ooooooo aaaaaaaaahhhhh)

so.....what did you overhear this week????